Recently an Internet friend of mine was being pressed by someone on Facebook to accept the label "atheist" because so many of her posts seemed to be concordant with atheism. But she demurred, saying she doesn't want that label precisely because it's commonly associated with some things with which she doesn't agree. Her perception is that people automatically will assume she believes in X or Y because she's in that category.
I run into a similar problem frequently. If I say something critical of Mitt Romney, it's automatically assumed I'm a fan of Barack Obama. If I say something favorable about providing help to disadvantaged people, then it's assumed that I match precisely some presumed profile tied to being a "liberal". If I dislike Faux (Fox) News, it's evident I must watch MSNBC.
Some people are very familiar with these "default assumptions" - it's commonly assumed that when talking about a medical doctor in casual conversation in the USA, that doctor is male, not female. It's often assumed that, when encountering a young, black male in some run-down part of a city, he's in a criminal gang, uses cocaine, and likes hip-hop music. Mexicans are all dirt-poor, ignorant, lazy, and probably in the USA illegally. Everyone on welfare is a homeless, jobless crack addict with 15 kids all being supported by welfare. Everyone living in a mobile home is a redneck, stupid white trash. These are all stereotypes that are demonstrably false, and obviously connected to prejudice - bigotry, that is.
To be sure, examples that fit these stereotypes can be found. But the proof is all around us that individuals who break those stereotypes also can be found, and they're not necessarily in the minority. Hence, the prejudice that leads to bigotry is based in a lie. Pure and simple. Let me repeat that - based in a lie! Not everyone that fits in that "category" is the same!! Prejudice about people is not a viable position.
Frankly, I find default assumptions being made all the time, about me and about people I know. I dislike and resent those assumptions even more when associated with friends of mine or family than when directed at me. For the most part, I can shrug off such things - they say more about the person labeling me than about me. There are times, of course, when such labels are used to discriminate against people, typically in a covert way. If you speak openly against policies in the company for which you work, you can be labeled a "troublemaker" and blocked from favorable personnel actions or even discharged. If you wear your hair in a mohawk, you must be some sort of crazed "punk" that can't possibly be an asset to the business. And so on and on.
We humans seem strongly inclined to push everyone around us into some category or another, concluding they must think and behave in a certain way according to our interpretation of the label we want to pin on them. Doing so certainly removes the obligation for us to think and learn about who the people really are. If we've assigned them a label we consider negative, then we can push them out of our lives to whatever extent possible by circumstances. If we can't push them away physically, we can shut them out personally and socially.
Assigning labels to people is nothing more (or less) than prejudice/bigotry. I'm not saying that behind every dude wearing a scruffy beard, riding a Harley, wearing a motorcycle jacket, and covered in tatoos is actually a charity-supporting nuclear physicist. But ought we not reserve our judgments (based only on their appearance) until we know them reasonably well? Most of the people I call friends have some very different attitudes about some things that matter to me - but I value their friendship nevertheless. The fact that we disagree on a topic is far less important than the enjoyment I derive from being in their company. It's not necessary to me that everyone I know has to agree with me on everything! If we can have a conversation about those issues that divide us, and that conversation doesn't turn into anger and name-calling, then perhaps I can learn a thing or two from their viewpoint (and/or vice-versa). It's happened many times, actually.
Returning, finally, to my friend refusing to wear the label "atheist" - there are many people who for one reason or another choose not to accept that label. Some avoid the label for fear of being ostracized, in a way that gays and lesbians understand only too well. Some avoid it because they harbor misconceptions about what it means to be an atheist. In fact, being an atheist puts almost no restrictions on what you believe, because the only thing we all have in common is not believing in a deity - otherwise, our opinions and beliefs can be damned near anything! Atheism has no sacred truths, no doctrine, no common set of beliefs. You can tag me with that label - it doesn't bother me to wear it because it imposes virtually no restrictions on what I can think and what I can believe. I wear that one proudly and willingly.
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